Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Morning After.

Tom's Journal.

So now, do I become a philosopher?  People say that life goes on, and there were many people and close friends at Sharon's viewing  and funeral last night followed by a nice light supper at the Union Grove Baptist church in S.E. Wisconsin on April 13th, 2011. My Mom, brother, Andy, Barbara and many more were there in attendance, old friends from Chrysler, etc.,-- thank you.   A lot of love, hugs and kisses, and kind, sincere words.  Any donations were given to the church's childrens' bibles fund.  

I kept my composure all that time last night at church as God answered my prayers all day long to help me with that-- although tears are standard and totally acceptable and are an  important part of 'grieving' when losing a spouse, mother or loved one.  If you don't grieve-- you will never heal and it will fester inside and cause big problems latter in life.  I know and understand that from studying  combat PTSD-- [post traumatic stress disorder].  The pastor's great memorial service sermon was very good, and a true witness to the life and good nature of my dear wife-- and I know that my children took it to heart, and even joined in singing the songs.  Sharon spoke of the Bible and the Gospel of salvation to all she came in contact with, and a man who came from the nursing home that was Sharon's home for the last 5 months said that she was a shinning light in the Woodstock nursing home to many patients and staff having her DEFINED KJV Bible out and studying it most of the time.... and sharing scripture and hope with many, even getting a  weekly Bible study there started!  I take much pride, with the help of the Holy Spirit, in plying my 'gifts' and talents in teaching my wife the Bible and the hope of heaven, as we discussed this subject many times.  She had to endure MUCH physical pain in her last days with a shattered, crumbling lower spine, with only 15% of her lungs working and 30% of her heart working, and many other ailments.  It's very hard for me to write about these things right now...

A big chunk of my heart is gone now-- although all the friends repeat the mantra:  'She is free from all pain and sorrow now, in Heaven!'  Sharon major struggle is over now as she sits in glory-- and don't the rest of us envy her!  The time is coming and soon, when the living WILL ENVY the dead --when the Lord comes back to judge those on earth who have refused to kiss the Son and accept Him as true Lord and Savior...  Then ALL people will KNOW that Jesus is Lord-- but it will be too late for them to repent.  What a truly horrible thought- to be on the wrong side of God, and that goes for a lot of church members too!

Sharon's body will be cremated today [not a pleasant thought for me- I want to be buried] and they will give me he ashes this afternoon.  I don't much feel like doing anything today anyway, and my stomach is very upset and I just have to work my way through this time of sorrow.  FaceBook friends flood me with well wishes and prayers-- thank you.
Warm Regards,


Heli gunner Tom said...

Sandy Pennel, said:

I continue to be amazed at your wisdom and kindness that comes out so strong through your grief. You are so right in what you say. I am very happy to hear that Sharon's son and wife have been good to you. I am so thankful for that. Anything that helps you get through your sorrow today or any day is wonderful. God bless them for their kindness. I believe like you said that our time on earth is short but I confess that it's friends like you that make my life so blessed while I am here. God is so good to me.

Heli gunner Tom said...

Helen said:

I am glad that you had God, yours, and her friends to help you make it through all the services. May he continue to bless you and uplift your spirit in the days ahead.
(((Hugs for you)))

Lisa said...

I am so very sorry to hear of Sharon's passing. I'm also sorry I wasn't around sooner to give you my condolences. I will be Praying God give you strength & peace during this most difficult time.

Heli gunner Tom said...

Mary said:

Dear Tom, I just want to say Good Morning...I hope you know how much we all enjoy your blog... I also wanted to share with you whats on my heart for you, it's rather simple, however it keeps coming to my mind...I feel as though eating healthy foods and rest is extremely important for you {even more than ever}..this will encourage strength and a clear mind..Keep depression and loneliness from overwhelming you...I know your grief is enormous...and the enemy will attack you with every thing he can..guilt, if only' s, should haves..etc ..and what I have found is he does it subtlety ...Guard your thoughts and remember there is a lot of different emotions that you will experience through all this and Jesus will shine His light on and in you..I am so sorry for your pain..My Marine { Bud Harley Pugh..{ '68-'72} passed nearly 14 y. ago {'50-'97} so I understand the loss of a spouse...Please try to not over do so that you are stressed beyond your grief healthy, get any exercise you are able to and lay your regrets at the foot of the cross...and leave them there....every time a negative though enters your mind Tom take it captive..just refuse to entertain it...Often I just start praising the Lord and comfort and peace replaces the thoughts...and I know you are lonely...However grieve your loss, and keep your eyes and mind on Jesus and He will fill your loneliness..Stay safe in the Mighty Arms of Jesus Christ...With love my Dear friend, Mary