Only Job was able to have a long, running conversation with God, with deep respect. And God was always right. God does not change; He cannot lie. It's His game, bat, ball, and glove. The wise man will bend knee and seek His love and protection. The wicked shall be destroyed. Period.
I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but having finally found the Lord, I am not moving an inch, and I am His stalwart Soldier in Christ. We don't have to come home/ finish the race first.... but we do have to finish the race. I feel that the Rapture is near. I have an inner world of peace and security, even if I die. Death is not my enemy --- but just a momentary "Gate way" to heaven, and everlasting life in a better place. Instead of just 'waiting' like a bump on a log, why not get busy in the Lord and share the Gospel, leading others to Salvation ??