Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Some Cool Jokes and Funnies.

Tom's Journal. http://tomschuckmanjournal.blogspot.com/

tschuckman@aol.com





Foreword in Chinese:

你好朋友在中國 :
我住在北部的大國 , 美國密歇根州 -- 美國 , 我們現在正在準備一次冷 , 下雪的冬天。 我已經在東南亞 , 早在 1968 年 , 美國陸軍 , 在越南的服務時 70 、 19 歲的 , 我很喜歡學習不同的文化在我前往德國、也不例外。 我已經很“幸運”並祝福 , 所學到的東西太多 , 還要有穩定的工作和支付大部分時間 , 和一家不錯的家庭。 我已經研究了英王欽定本聖經 , 是我一生最大的 , 是 " 節省 " 和去天堂 , 肯定的。 不是因爲什麼我所做的事———只不過 * 我選擇接受我主耶穌基督 , 因爲我個人的上帝 , 求主和救世主 ! 他替衆人死於人類在世界上所有的罪孽並支付了贖金價自亞當和夏娃 , 到目前爲止 ! 我們都有同樣的選擇現在 -- 但不是很長 , 因爲我們所知的“世界”將不復存在和美國的時間規則”將結束。
可能是我們下一次的貨幣可能是中國人民幣 ! 您可以擁有最大的黃金 , 我認爲這是一種智能移動、還銀。 但歸根結底 , 天父上帝和耶穌基督將接管───將統治地球的 1000 年。 我也知道數千個良好的中文也有同樣的希望 , 他們堅定的基督教信徒的慾望、意見在我們這樣做 , 在美國 , 現在我們有良好、公平、公正、總裁王 , 努力幫助我們。 但什麼曾經發生的情況 , 我們知道耶穌對我們的應許「 Rapture 」就在大戰爭 , 因此最真實的
基督徒必須獲認購及遠至 ' 安全地方。”
我的電子郵件 : tschuckman@aol.com
親切問候 ,
托馬斯 · 克 Schuckman
“耶穌是耶和華。





Hello  Dear  Friends,
     I sure hope that you all love good, clean, jokes, humor, funny stories and positive feed back  ----   because I just love to laugh, also teach, joke around, entertain, and tell funny jokes, too ! !   Dear Lord,  at the end of the day we poor humans need SOME diversion and humor, too !    Yahweh, Father God,  is a HAPPY GOD, and He wants US to be happy too !   
       And the reason why He gave HIS OWN PEOPLE, the Israelites a set of Laws and Rules to live by,  with the "death penalty" for many of those "Laws"  --- was for their own safety, betterment, security, peace of mind, and HAPPINESS !   Without a fair, just, set of Rules/ Laws,  there would be Anarchy and non-stop Violence every day !    Yes,  I did pay attention to the high school teachers back in the early 1960's.....   but my learning and education didn't stop there.     Being "Self Educated" is good and well, too,  but it takes longer, and much more discipline to 'do it on your own.'    And you can and should learn much on the "InterNet," where there is a WEALTH of KNOWLEDGE....  but also a snake pit, and dangerous when you meet and follow the wrong, godless unbelievers, heathens and Islamic folks --- whose 'Father' is not our Father,  Yahweh ! ! !   JUST BEWARE AND VERY CAREFUL,  PLEASE.
      Look to the KJV Bible as a great Teacher and ask the Holy Spirit for help before you crack open that Grand Old Book -- the Word.   Psalm 37: 25:     "I have been young,  and now am old;  yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.   26.  He is merciful, and lendeth;  and his seed is blessed.   28.  For t he Lord loveth judgment,  and forsaketh not his saints;  they are preserved forever:   but the seed of the wicked shall be cut off.   29.   The righteous shall inherit the land,  and dwell therein forever."
The above was written by King David of Israel.   And....  Psalm 38: 1, says:   O Lord,  rebuke me not in thy wrath:   neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure."     -----Ha!   I pray that prayer OFTEN !!   Because it seems like I have chocolate foot -- that is always in my mouth --- and getting myself in trouble so much of the time.   That has been my 'life's story,'  sad to say but true to tell.    Sorry.   I am far from perfect, so prayer and study is my life's work now, after I retired in 2002,  from Chrysler Motors, in Kenosha, Wisconsin.  


As my father told me so many times when I was young,   'It's good to have dreams and goals,  but some of them are really hard to attain.    There is a lot more to 'being a Soldier, or a Sailor, than wearing that uniform....'    But you can tell A LOT about that Military man FROM looking at his uniform --- which tells you where the man has been, how long, and what his MOS ---Job Classification, is, etc.   And the Army, Navy, Marines just don't hand out,  "Fruit Salad," 'Hash Marks,  Medals, and Rank !  
      Well,  I had a surprise this morning, at the local, IM-- VAMC, today.  An RN pulled me into her 'shop' and examined my ears, telling me that I had a huge blockage in the Left Ear !!   A-Ha !   So I was NOT lying nor imagining that I had trouble hearing other folks Speak !!!    I am NOT trying to start another fight nor argument,  please.   So.... the RN, named, Jean, irrigated my Left ear about 7-8 times today, but it was still clogged up as I left her office.   She told me to ear drop some Olive Oil in the Left ear over night to loosen the clog up, and then see her again next week sometime.   I WAS trying to contact my PCP ---Primary Care Provider, my 'new' doctor --- after my elderly, good, wise, Christian,  DOCTOR finally retired, as he is now age 87, and went back to Florida, right before the Huge Storms/  Hurricanes hit Texas and Florida, and his cherished golf courses that he loved so much.    A smart surgeon/ physician we shall never find again, U.P. here .... and what a loss for the goofy VA system, that is still so crowded, corrupt, with not enough of the GOOD staff, doctors and RN's !!   At least President Trump is working on it --- PRAISE THE LORD !   

And while I am at it,  let me put in my 2 cents worth about our American Flag --vs:  Sporting events, plus our National Anthem.   Where ever people roam and travel to ---"When in Rome -- Do as the Romans Do !"   Every place and part of the world has their own respected customs and rituals, and you just DO NOT WANT TO INSULT OTHER PEOPLE IN ANY WAY,  or you could lose your LIFE !!    Yes,  before any Authority figure can step in the save you,  you just might not have enough time to get saved/ protected, from a crowd.   And,  "Old wounds run deep !"   If you want to stay healthy,  "Be Kind, Thoughtful, Respectful, and Nice !!"    A word to the wise should be ample and sufficient.   
       Case in point,  when ever you take an R and R to Bangkok,  Thailand, Japan, etc.,  quick study the rules and laws,  and the Officer in Charge will bring you up to speed before they turn you loose on the town, and you need to exercise extreme caution  to never insults that countries,  'gods, goddesses, holy things and/ or religion, etc.'   Or else you could pay for your crimes and sins, with an elephant stepping on your head, or getting your head chopped off with a sharp sword.    Now... you don't HAVE TO WORSHIP their gods,  but you should show proper respect for the people and beliefs..... or else.   So, the usual darker colored. over paid, 'athletes' who 'claim' to be American, who NEVER served in our Armed Forces ought to have the common sense not to 'take a knee' or sit down thru the National Anthem, is the wrong way to protest, 'what ever' their current grievance  is -- at the time.    They are paid to play --- and not to act like a little 3 year old, kid !   I, personally, think that they should get fired and return all their money.  OK ?    This is only my personal observation, friends and readers.   But then,  I am only an old, disabled Vietnam Veteran:  68-70.    For  much more than 40 hard, serious years of study with the KJV Bible, etc.,  I believe that:   "At the right time, Father God --Yahweh,  will take most of the Power away from the USA --  America,  and allow some other nation ----  or a number of nations, to step into our shoes and govern the entire world -- being directed by THEIR Father.... Satan the Devil, and his demons, etc.   I can prove what I say.   Can you ?    I just don't think that our American Dollar will be the "King of the Hill,"  for much longer.... sorry.    Anyway,   I am putting my money on the One, True, God of the KJV Bible.    If I am doing what HE wants ---- I will be Saved and end up in Heaven.   PTL.   
         And, Hey !   I don't want to see our once great country go down the tube, with another group of nations carving U.S.A. up for dinner, or making us a 'slave state,' or worse.   But as we study the 'March of Time' and the pure History of the Bible, we learn that God has always moved and removed various nations exactly where He wanted them,  and if we don't recognize that firm fact -- we are doomed to a world of woe !    Don't shoot me --- I am just the messenger.     Usually, major Powers/ Nations rise to the top and dominate for only about 200 years, and the USA is just about in those kind of 'end times,'  now.  
      It suits Father God--Yahweh, but He has promised to SAVE His promised, Beloved Saints and Followers of His only begotten Son,  Jesus Christ  that all Scriptures shall be fulfilled, and even the first prophetic Scripture, back in Genesis 3: 15 !   Come, let us reason, dear friends.     Once upon a time,  I was yet in YOUR shoes, and had to learn a lot more, and much faster, too.   Smile --- you can become,  "SAVED", too, but don't wait too long.     You know...  if I didn't care about you fine folks,  I would just stop my soap box talking about the Gospel of Jesus, and switch to other mundane subject matter.


And now,  here are some cool jokes for you all.

Warm Regards,
Thomas G Schuckman
Email:   tschuckman@aol.com 




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ATTENTION:  These emails are meant for people who
have a sense of humor, an appreciation of sarcasm,
and who wear panties that don't easily get in a bunch.
Oh yeah, and respect my conservative viewpoint!
You have been warned!
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I HOPE EVERYONE TAKES HEED TO THIS MESSAGE..................