Sunday, June 13, 2010

Sharon is back in the hospital.

Tom's Journal.

My wife and I changed/ tweaked our plans and I took Sharon to the Kenosha [WI] Memorial Hospital, down by Lake Michigan about 0730 today, Sunday morning. By the time the docs and staff ran all their tests-- I got home about 1130 and church was letting out/ over, even as I was properly dressed.

Sorry to sound insensitive, but Sharon and I have been through this 'drill' many times and there is nothing much I can do waiting at the hospital, especially after they gave her meds to calm down and help her health challenges. She could not even stay awake to listen to me talk to her in the ER, so I dropped off her pre-arraigned over night luggage, and put my power scooter back into the Ram truck and came back home. I call her multiple times every day that she is gone.

The bad news is, with the EKG, blood tests, her heart has only about 30% pumping power, her lungs about 15%, they fear that her kidneys may be damaged or dysfunctional, along with diabetes, swelled legs and feet, Sarcoidosis, etc. That is all I can remember right now -- but it's kind of discouraging to me, personally. It always takes a day or so for the 'news' to sink into my head and then hits me hard latter.
I called and told the pastor at the church and another brother there. My Mom just wanted to talk BS about how her 2 'angels' [daughters] were both losing weight....Ha! Since she is an UN-believer, I felt that it was a wasted call.

It was NOT an 'inconvenience' to take my wife to the hospital again! It is just the "up and down" --yo-yo effect, and waiting for the "other shoe to fall." We know that Sharon is dying, afraid, upset, but I am having trouble dealing with it too, mere human that I am -- even though we know all the facts. She is a fighter. I have thought about this circumstance many times personally, and with the Holy Spirit/ Christian Faith, I believe that I would just like to expire, painlessly, quietly, if possible, or be martyred, and go to HEAVEN!! I figure with all my years of study, knowledge, prayers and sharing the Gospel, and being a farmer and a soldier -- I know what the dying process is all about, and this Satanic world is depressing enough, PLUS, I am tired and disabled. I would NEVER take my own life, nor will I help in mercy killing, but I honestly believe that a peaceful death has love and dignity. I know that I am re-hashing what I've shared in many past posts.

But caring for a loved one is a different story. With the doctor asking her questions this morning in ER as to what she wants in procedures in the
ER room, she looked to me, but I said, 'it's YOUR body, and you ought to decide what options you want the learned doctor to do/ take.'
Actually, I hardly feel qualified-- and Sharon has a better medical back ground than I do. Right now, I am home alone with only the hound dog to talk to, and trying to digest the Popeye's chicken and rice, but my stomach is upset for some reason. I should clean the house but I just don't feel like doing anything today.... sorry.

I just want to take a stab at one thing... From the scriptures, we can know that: God Loves YOU [us]. John 3:16. Romans 5: 8.
All are Sinners: Romans 3: 23, Romans 3:10.
God has a remedy for Sin: Romans 6: 23, John 1:2
All may be Saved NOW! Romans 10:13, Revelation 3:20

IF a person honestly begs the Father in Heaven for help with all sincerity, trust, hope and faith, and accepts the Lord Jesus Christ as their personal Savior-- he/ she will be SAVED! I don't have time now to split hairs, argue, give an hour long sermon, define Greek and Hebrew words, etc., just to hold up the basics in a very simple way for all to see and read. I KNOW that I am SAVED-- even though I continue to sin every day of my life on earth-- but I can see improvements and more maturity, with the help of the Holy Spirit. But death should not be feared, hated, hidden, lied about, or morphed into some bad monster like the heathen and unbelievers want to do with it.
Death is nothing more than the 'GATEWAY' from this frail, fleeting, short life -- into eternity. If more people understood the Bible's practical wisdom of death, heaven and hell-- the world might be a better place. Even as we and I have sorrow now, just think if we didn't know the facts of life and death. Thank you all for your many prayers and kind wishes.

Tom Schuckman
Jesus is Lord, Heaven is my Home.