A Team of Horses.

Tom's Journal. http://tomschuckmanjournal.blogspot.com/ tschuckman@aol.com

Let's talk about teamwork today, for a while.  Individual talent, skills, positive and aggressive-- in a good way-- attitudes to get things done/ accomplished are very good and important.  We need to be independent to a certain degree. I recently heard one lonely woman's story [and I would NEVER mention her name or residence!], just lost her husband of whom she loved deeply.  The man was an exceptional hard working, loving man who took good care of his wife but insisted on handling EVERYTHING and she was the 'domestic engineer' at home, but didn't have any practical, 'hand's on' training of how to pay the bills, do business, etc., so now she is all mixed up and has to 're-invent the wheel' and is just so distressed, nervous, and  devastated!!   She will have to sell the house to survive!!  In the old days, 100 years ago I guess the man did run everything outside the house and paid the bills, did business-- but I honestly think that the spouse [either man or woman] NEEDS TO KNOW the BASICS   and have a 'working knowledge' of everything in the house hold, etc...  just in case a mate gets sick, incapacitated  or dies!   Hey!  I can sure understand about not wanting to do something that you absolutely hate,  but I have to force myself to learn new things that my passed dear wife did FOR ME, because she enjoyed them, like cooking, and technical stuff, filing things that are important, taxes, records,  etc.  I never knew or appreciated how much and how smart my wife was-- how multi-talented, skilled and wonderful!!  We would make deals:  'OK, sweetie pie, if you do this, which I hate to do-- I will do that, etc."  And it works, of course, and no woman should have to pick up everything after her spouse who thinks he can just sit on the couch all the time like a king!  Remember, they are a team! 
   She is gone now, and I have wept a river of tears, miss her, but I will and need to move on, and I am ready!  Some ill-advised people might say even with good intentions-- that I OUGHT TO GRIEVE FOR ANOTHER 10 YEARS OR SO before dating again.....HA!!  Sorry, that's just not me!    If I could find a woman with similar qualities that would be nice-- but it isn't probable or likely.   I HAD TO move on after 2 years of combat in Vietnam, after 30.5 years working at Chrysler, and now after my wife went to a 'better place' with no more pain and sorrow...PTL.   So I just want to find someone who is compatible with me, who can tolerate me and love me, and that WILL WORK!  It works all the time with others!  That means I need to change a bit and prob the other person can learn to bend a little bit and all will be well.  Or maybe it won't go well-- but I am going to do it anyway-- just take my time and don't rush or push things.   I don't expect to 'train, educate, force, mold or change' some one new, but to experience and compliment all the qualities that they have already acquired in their life time.  If we can find a good handful of important common interests and compatibilities-- I figure that is all we need to enjoy our company together and work and play like a well matched TEAM OF HORSES,  for what ever is left of our lives, and I am already 62!  Don't feel like waiting anymore.  Period. 

Being raised on a farm in WI, and also studying 2 years of  high school Agriculture and into 4-H,  I understand such things and ideas, and Dad used to tell me about his Father in the great State of Kansas --used to try hard to 'match up' a team of horses to pull the plow, etc., and tailoring the leather harnesses to evenly distribute the heavy load that the animals had to pull.  Simple logic, and the bible has some to say about that too, and LOTS TO SAY ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP IN MARRIAGE, etc.  If you love someone-- you try to help them-- not hurt them!

With the economic melt down now, many singles are getting squeezed and are suffering now to pay their bills, etc,. and are lonely too.  They just might have to give up SOME of their prideful, egotistical INDEPENDENCE, and LEARN how to live with another person in peace, on an equal footing more or less and co-operate in a loving manner.  One of them, [and the bible appoints the man to be kind of a head, or spokesman] has  to lead the way-- but sometimes that is hard and the spouse MUST take the lead, even if she doesn't want to.  What ever works, you know what I mean....  but both should, again, have a 'working knowledge' of what goes on and how to handle things if sometime bad or unexpected comes up, God forbid.  This is my personal opinion, and I had to learn this the hard way after my wife passed away... and I believe she is in heaven now and very happy to be with her Lord.  That is my opinion too.  Now... you all don't have to agree with me-- but I am just expressing my personal opinion and ideas.... because it's NOT my place to force others to see things MY way... LOL.    
     Friends, I honestly hope that I am not speaking out of place today, although it's my legal right to post on MY blog, my feelings, ideas, understandings, and view points, and I freely admit that I am opinionated about many things, but that's my bold and daring character and the way I was brought up and educated by some fine instructors, plus my own intensive studies in many fields and endeavors.  I would be very happy to get comment from YOU too, if you have the guts to write them...LOL--- it's easy, just go below and hit the proper Links to Comment.
Have a great chilly day!

Warm Regards,
Tommy